The Office: A Musical
by PrimaDina
Summary: The Employees of Dunder Mifflin Scranton suffer from sudden longings to sing. Complete!
1. Chapter 1

**The Office: The Musical**

**Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters or songs used. Yes, this is a Dunder-Mifflin musical.**

* * *

It was a little more than awkward between the employees of Dunder-Mifflin Scranton the day following Casino Night. Jim had told his true feelings to Pam, Jan was in a sour mood from Michael's double date stupidity, and Creed pretty much hid from anyone who he stole chips from. Yes, it looked like today was going to be just like all the others…

…but far worse.

Jim was sitting at his desk, attempting to get some work done and to stop looking up at Pam's desk. Dwight saw papers overlapping on his desk, and immediately got his ruler out and began to shift them back on Jim's.

"Dwight, seriously man. Not today," Jim told him in an exasperated voice.

"Why not? I can't concentrate. I'm sure you'd do the same for me," Dwight said back, very matter-of-factly.

"Yeah, well I'm not obsessive compulsive," he said, giving him a lopsided, but still very mad, grin.

Dwight smiled and quite obviously hit a pile of papers on Jim's desk, knocking them on the floor on purpose. "Oops. My mistake,"

"You're picking those up."

"I am not. It's not my fault _your _papers were on _my _desk."

Jim groaned then stood up, knocking his desk chair back. He climbed up on his desk and began to sing:

**Dear Dwight**

**Jim **

_Dear Dwight,_

_I think you want to fight,_

_I'm prepared to kick your butt,_

_Since I think your out of luck,_

_Dear Dwight,_

_I'm about to lose my head,_

_And for that you're surely dead,_

_DEAREST DWIGHT!_

Jim finished the number with spirit fingers. He shook his head in disbelief and climbed back down off his desk, staring at his hands. Everyone in the office was staring at him. Even Michael, who usually only had eyes for Ryan.

Michael walked to his office door and popped his head out.

"Queer."

* * *

"Hello, Angela. Funny seeing you here in the break room the same time as me," Dwight said in a terribly fake "normal chatting" voice. 

"Why hello, Dwight. I'm just buying two chocolate bars. I'm very hungry today. Are _you _hungry, Dwight?" she asked, slightly flirtatious.

"Hungry for some lovin'," he said while looking down at her.

"What's your problem!" Angela whispered very panicky.

"My problem is we should be together."

Suddenly, the lights shut completely off, and everyone looked up from their lunches. When they began to slowly turn on again, Dwight was in the centre of a spotlight on a table, wearing a sequined tux and holding a cane.

**Happy Together**

**Dwight**

_Imagine me and you, I do  
I think about you day and night, it's only right  
To think about the girl you love and hold her tight  
So happy together _

If I should call you up, invest a dime  
And you say you belong to me and ease my mind  
Imagine how the world could be, so very fine  
So happy together

**Pam, Jim, Angela, and the rest of the break room surround the table Dwight is dancing on and begin doing synchronized swimming-esc moves and sing along **

_  
I can't see me lovin' nobody but you  
For all my life  
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue  
For all my life _

I can't see me lovin' nobody but you  
For all my life  
When you're with me, baby the skies'll be blue  
For all my life

Me and you and you and me  
No matter how they toss the dice, it has to be  
The only one for me is you, and you for me

_SO HAPPY TOGETHER!_

Everyone goes back to their tables and begins to eat their lunches as though nothing had happened. Even Jim and Pam can't help but give each other a face of disbelief.

Roy, who did not go up to dance, looked at his fiancé questionably.

"Have you been _practising _that?"

* * *

**A/N I know that's probably the weirdest thing you've ever read, but please review and tell me how weird I am!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N I do not own these characters or any of the songs. Enjoy **

* * *

Kevin was growing uncomfortable in his chair. He had a song in his head that he had only heard his daughter listen to a few times, yet he knew every word. Eventually his shifting turned into toe tapping, and that to clapping.

"Kevin, that's inappropriate at work. We can't get our work done," Angela told him.

Pam and Jim couldn't help but smile at one another at the thought of another performance. They quickly got up and made their way back to accounting.

**Hollaback Boy**

**Kevin Malone **

Each time a swear word would come, Kevin slapped his behind and put a "shh" finger on his lips.

_Uh huh, this my sh-- (butt slap)  
Allmy boys stomp your feet like this _

A few times I've been around that track  
So it's not just goin' to happen like that  
Cause I ain't no hollaback boy  
I ain't no hollaback boy  
2x

Oooh, this my sh-- (butt slap), this my sh-- (butt slap)

_Oooh, this my sh-- (butt slap), this my sh-- (butt slap)_

_Oooh, this my sh-- (butt slap), this my sh-- (butt slap)_

_Oooh, this my sh-- (butt slap), this my sh-- (butt slap) _

Kevin, Oscar, Creed, and Jim begin break dancing. The ladies of the office begin to drench themselves with water bottles poured down their faces.

Michael sighs and closes his blinds.

* * *

"I don't know what's come into everyone," Michael tells the camera. "It's like they all were doin' a little wacky tab-" 

Michael stops himself before he can go on.

* * *

Jim and Pam walk back to their desks together, the awkwardness relieved just a little bit. 

"Long time no talk," Jim jokes.

"Yeah," she frowns. "Listen, I know that couldn't have been easy for you last night. And I don't want to make it any harder. Can't we act normally?" she asked him, looking down at her shoes.

"Totally," he says, but does not mean it.

* * *

"Michael, this behaviour is not right. I think we should check ifany carbon dioxide hasinfiltratedthe buildingand we are all having dillusions," Dwight suggested in Michael's office. 

Michael sighed. "We have a thing for that. It's supposed to go beep. Dwight, I need you to keep Jan out of here."

Dwight scrunched his eye brows. "I thought she was your girlfriend."

"She is. Was. Well, we're taking a break." Michael leaned in and whispered. "Just listen, I can't let her in again. She was here this morning, and I had urges…"

Dwight nodded in approval. "Nice."

"No not those urges you freak. Not at work. The other kind. The…you know…singing," Michael said, his voice barely able to be heard.

"Oh…got it," Dwight said before exiting his office and walking past reception. He then sat down in front of the elevator and stared, much like a dog.

* * *

Meredith was having a hard time concentrating. She figured she'd probably had too much "juice" that morning and was getting a little "sugar high". 

She sighed and walked briskly to the break room for some water and an aspirin. And hour later, she still felt like she was missing something.

Suddenly the lights dimmed once again, and Meredith was suddenly wearing a T-shirt that didn't fit and was terribly dirty, complete with messy hair and no shoes.

**Picture**

**Meredith Palmer**

Meredith is staring at a picture of Captain Jack and holding a half empty bottle of wine.

_I called you last night in the hotel_

_Everyone knows but they wont tell_

_But their half hearted smiles tell me_

_Somethin' just ain't right _

_I been waitin' on you for a long time_

_Fuelin' up on heartaches and cheap wine_

_I ain't heard from you in 3 damn nights_

**Pam, Phyllis, and Angela sing backup.**

_I put your picture away_

_I wonder where you been_

_I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him_

_I put your picture away_

_I wonder where you been _

_I can't look at you while I'm lyin' next to him!_

The men clap and thank Meredith and the girls for their performance. Meredith spends the next half hour on her hands and knees crawling and looking for that bottle of wine she had been carrying.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N I don't own any of the characters or songs used. Don't take the story too seriously!**

**

* * *

**The end of the day was nearing, and Pam was thankful for not having any strong urges to perform solo. She tried several different things to keep her busy: assort pens from darkest to lightest, play solitaire, and even drawing a little bit. She couldn't help but draw Jim dancing on a table. 

Jim had begun making a list of possible ways to torment Dwight, since nobody else was getting much work done that day either, as they were all silently waiting for another to sing. Jim considered dying of boredom, but then realized things were supposed to be awkward between him and Pam. Well, not supposed to be, like her promised her. He sighed leaned back in his chair.

Michael thought about songs he'd sing to Jan. Nothing. At least she wouldn't have to worry about him serenading her. _It'd probably embarrass her _he thought.

* * *

Stanley was, as usual, talking on the phone. He was tapping his pen - as always - and talking slowly. He closed his eyes and tried to drown out everyone else's conversations. He almost dozed off right there. 

"Hello?"

He opened his eyes and realized he hadn't talked for a few minutes now. He quickly said sorry and hung up the phone. _What's wrong with me?_

He looked down and rubbed his temples. He saw that he was wearing jeans - something he'd never wear to work. A guitar began to play out of nowhere, and excited employees began to surround his desk.

**Walk The Line**

**Stanley Hudson**

Stanley gets up and stand in the middle of his fellow workers. He puts his thumbs in his belt loops and begins to kick his feet.

_I keep a close watch on this heart of mine  
I keep my eyes wide open all the time  
I keep the ends out for the tie that binds  
**Because you're mine, I walk the line** _

Pam and Jim, Angela and Dwight, Ryan and Kelly, and Creed and Oscar begin to square dance.

_I find it very, very easy to be true  
I find myself alone when each day is through  
Yes, I'll admit that I'm a fool for you  
**Because you're mine, I walk the line** _

As sure as night is dark and day is light  
I keep you on my mind both day and night  
And happiness I've known proves that it's right  
**Because you're mine, I walk the line**

Everyone smiles and claps for Stanley. He can't help but grin madly.

"I had no idea Stanley had such a beautiful voice," Jim joked. Pam laughed ask they walked back to their desks.

"Yeah, so far everyone's had a great voice. I hope I don't have to sing," she said as she fiddled with her ring.

He sighed. "Pam, you have an amazing voice."

"That's not what…" she started.

Jim looked mad. "Did he say you have a bad singing voice?"

Pam looked up at him. "I'm not very good…" She went back to her desk, but not before hearing Jim whisper "What a dick."

* * *

Michael came out of his office for the first time in several hours. "I understand some of you organized a little musical day today, which I did not approve," he said sourly. "But it's all great for the newsletter. Just…try to get a little work done or Jan will be on my back again." 

"She does not own you!" Dwight called before Michael ducked back into his office.

Slowly, he began turning around. He stared at Dwight with loving eyes.

"Oh, Dwight. What would I do without you?"

Jim eyed the camera.

**Wind Beneath My Wings**

**Michael**

Michael stands up on Dwight's desk and sings down to him.

_It must have been cold there in my shadow  
To never have sunlight on your face  
You've always been content to let me shine  
You've always walked one step behind _

Everyone in the office pairs up and begins to slow dance.

_I was the one with all the glory  
While you were the one with all the strength  
Only a face without a name  
And I never once heard you complain _

Did you ever no that you're my hero  
And everything that I'd like to be  
I can fly higher than an eagle  
'Cause you are the wind beneath my wings

You might have thought it went unnoticed  
But I've got it all here in my heart  
I want you to know I know the truth  
That I would be nothing without you

Did you ever know that you're my hero  
And everything that I'd like to be  
I can fly higher than an eagle  
'Cause you are the wind beneath my wings

"Oh, Michael."

"I love you man." He jumps down and gives Dwight a bear hug.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N I do not own any of the characters or songs used. You've all heard of Nickelback's song "Photograph" right? I'm trying to use songs you'd all know so it doesn't turn into "Lets listen to Blue's play list" **

Pam had called Roy after every performance and gushed to him how funny and great they were. She was quite obviously trying not to let Jim know who she was calling, but he still figured it out the second time. She used to gush to him about things.

Jim realized he had to face the facts. Pam had made her choice, and it didn't look like she was going to change her mind. He got up and walked into Michael's office without knocking.

"Hey! Slim-Jim. My man!" Michael greeted him. Jim felt slightly uncomfortable being called Michael's man after his performance. "Something on your mind?"

"Actually. Yes," He said, then closed the door.

* * *

"Go on Jim, tell them what you told me," Michael said with a fake smile plastered on his face. 

They were standing outside his office door. The office turned around expecting a song.

"Hey guys…I've got some good news! I'm, uh…transferring to the Stamford branch," he said, flashing another lopsided grin.

Phyllis couldn't help but ask "How is that good news?"

"You don't have to deal with me anymore," he said, trying to laugh just a little bit. Dwight was on the verge of dancing.

A band mysteriously appeared in the break room, and Jim jogged back to it. Everyone followed and surrounded Jim and his band.

**Photograph**

**Jim**

Jim was dressed in ragged clothes and biting on a tooth pick.

_**1,2,3**_

_Every memory of lookin' out the back door  
I got the photo album spread out on my bedroom floor  
It's hard to say it, time to say it  
**Goodbye, goodbye**  
_

Everyone held up lighters and swayed.

_  
Every memory of walkin' out the front door  
I found the photo of the friend that I was lookin' for  
It's hard to say it, time to say it  
**Goodbye, goodbye**_

_Every memory of walkin' out the front door  
I found the photo of the friend that I was lookin 'for  
It's hard to say it, time to say it  
**Goodbye, goodbye**_

Pam was impressed. "Nice job, Sweaty,"

"Thanks, Scaredy Cat," he joked.

"Haha. I'd never sing alone. Maybe a duet," she said, raising her eyebrows and smiling. Then she frowned. "You could have told me about the transfer, you know."

"I didn't want you to try to make me stay," he said, truthfully.

"It's final?" she asked. She was starting to panic.

"Almost."

"Oh."

"Thanks guys," Jim told his band. They nodded and walked away.

* * *

At about 4:45, Dwight got up to get a quick cup of coffee. The minute he took a sip, an immense amount of energy surged through him. He rushed into the men's bathroom. 

A few minutes later, he emerged as gangsta Dwight.

"Dwight, did you get that chain out of a gumball machine?" Jim asked.

"You're just jealous, yo!" Dwight answered, complete with hand movements.

**Candy Shop**

**Dwight**

_Yeah... _

_Uh huh _

_So seductive_

_I'll take you to the candy shop _

_I'll let you lick the lollypop _

_Go 'head girl, don't you stop _

_Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah) _

Angela steps in, wearing short shorts and her shirt folded up like "Daisy Duke".

_I'll take you to the candy shop _

_Boy one taste of what I got _

_I'll have you spending all you got _

_Keep going 'til you hit the spot (woah)_

They begin to grind.

"My EYES!" Jim screams.


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N I do not own any characters or songs used. Thank you for all the reviews and I think there will only be two or three more chapters. We'll see. Remember, it's just for giggles!**

"Michael, as head of HR I really need to know if all this was planned," Toby asked. They were sitting in Michael's office, more uncomfortable than you could ever imagine.

"Well Toby, did it ever occur to you that maybe you were left out of something?"

Toby eyed the camera. "It's just, they all seem pretty freaked out about all this random stuff happening." He leaned over Michael's desk. "You didn't…slip them something…did you?"

Michael let out a mad huff before dismissing Toby.

* * *

"Hey, Jim. Do you mind if I sit over here with you guys?" Toby looked at Dwight and Pam. "It's sort of lonely off in that corner." 

"You've got Kelly, don't you?" Jim asked, pretty much knowing the answer.

"I…try not to associate with her. Listen, what do you think about all this dancing?" Toby asked the trio.

"I believe it was staged by the government," Dwight whispered.

Pam came over from reception. "Sure…but why?"

"Pam, I'm only a police-"

"Volunteer police," Jim interrupted.

Dwight groaned. "-officer, and I unfortunately do not have that kind of government access."

"You have no government access to anything."

"Shut up, Jim. Please?" Dwight asked. "We could all be dying slowly by some kind of new government science experiment."

Toby, who had been looking down suddenly raised his head creepily. Fog began to poor out of nowhere, and blue and green disco lights began to shine throughout the room.

Toby ripped off his work clothes revealing a white lab coat.

**Bill Nye The Science Guy Theme**

**Toby**

_Bill Nye, the Science Guy_

_Bill Nye, the Science Guy_

_Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill_

_Bill Nye, the Science Guy_

**Pam **

_"Science rules"_

**Jim**

_Bill Nye, the Science Guy_

**Kelly**

_"Inertia is a property of matter"_

**Dwight**

_Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill_

_Bill Nye, the Science Guy_

**Everyone, while pumping their fists in the air towards Toby**

_Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill, Bill_

**Dwight**

"_T-minus seven seconds"_

**Everyone does the moonwalk **

_Bill Nye, the Science Guy!_

Everyone congratulated one another.

"Your first solo," Jim said proudly.

"Two words, Jim. Not much of a performance," Pam laughed.

"Very true words, though. Science rules very much."

* * *

Even thought it was nearly 5:30, nobody wanted to go home. Michael declared it a party, since everyone was getting hungry and nagging him for food. He ordered a couple pizzas and drinks, and even Toby let him put it on the corporate credit card. 

Everyone was having a great time. Everyone but Jim, anyway. Roy and Pam were slow dancing to some music Michael had put on, and all he could do was stare. From the safety of the break room's door, that is.

**Beauty And The Beast**

**Jim**

**Roy and Pam appear to be in a trance. Pam is now wearing a beautiful yellow gown, and Roy in some poofy blue suit. His hair it long and curled. He looks like a homo. They continue to slow dance as Jim sings and watches them.**

_Tale as old as time  
Fake as it can be  
Barely even friends  
Then somebody bends  
Unexpectedly._

_Just a little change  
Small to say the least  
One's A Little Stupid  
Neither one prepared  
Beauty and the Beast._

_Ever just the same  
Ever a surprise  
Ever as before  
Ever just as sure  
As the sun will rise._

_Tale as old as time  
Tune as old as song  
Bittersweet and strange  
Finding you can change  
Learning you were wrong._

**Jim suddenly screams "YOU'RE WRONG PAM!"**

_Certain as the sun  
Rising in the east  
Tale as old as time  
Song as old as rhyme  
Beauty and the Beast ._

**A tear rolls down Jim's cheek. He touched the glass and let it slide down as he gazed longingly.**

_Tale as old as time  
Song as old as rhyme  
Beauty and the Beast._

Kelly and Phyllis come up behind Jim and tap his shoulder. They give him a hug before saying how beautiful and tragic it was.

Jim only puts his hands in his pockets and frowns.


	6. Chapter 6

Kelly had made Ryan promise he would eat lunch with her. He did not.

She was seated on one side of the room, he the other. All Kelly could do was stare daggers at him and hope her anger would overpower her urges to cry.

"Hey, Kelly. Can I sit with you?" Pam asked. She had already brought a chair over and began sitting down before she answered. Although she didn't like the idea of being closer than 10 feet away from Kelly at all times, she knew she needed a friend right about then.

"I can't believe he'd just ditch me like that. Does Roy ever do that kind of thing to you?" Kelly asked, her eyes glistening.

Pam thought for a moment. "All the time. But you have to give him another chance, Kel. He _was _singing the theme to The Super Mario Brothers Super Show. He was busy, that's all."

"But Pam!" Kelly cried, letting the tears flow. "This isn't the first time! He always chooses his friends over me! I bet they all sing theme songs together."

"I hope not…" she said, considering Jim was one of his friends and the whole idea sounded a little…

"I'm just…so hung up on him."

**Hung Up**

**Kelly**

**Kelly snaps her fingers and she is suddenly wearing type ballet type body suit with leggings and ballet flats**

_Every little thing that you say or do  
I'm hung up  
I'm hung up on you  
Waiting for your call  
Baby night and day  
I'm fed up  
I'm tired of waiting for you_

**Everyone is suddenly wearing roller-skates and the carpet has mysteriously becomes a flashing dance floor**

_Ring, ring, ring goes the telephone  
The lights are on but there's no one home  
Tick tick tock it's a quarter to two  
And I'm done  
I'm hanging up on you_

**Ryan tries to jump out the window, but Kelly stops him**

_I can't keep on waiting for you  
I know that you're still hesitating  
Don't cry for me  
'Cause I'll find my way  
You'll wake up one day  
But it'll be too late_

**Michael sits in the background with a jealous look on his face.**

* * *

At around 6:15, Jim and Pam sit together eating the rest of the pizza Michael had ordered. 

"Ew, cold," Pam said, making a face.

Jim leaned over her desk. "It's better that way. You can just dive in."

Roy walked over and leaned on the desk next to Jim. "Ooo, pizza," he said delightedly before grabbing Pam's other slice. He folded it in half and was done in about 30 seconds.

"Now that's a dive…" Jim whispered.

"What's that, Halpert?" Roy asked, not being able to hear over his own eating.

"It's, uh…nothing," he said, before walking back to his desk. He sighed before a song filled his thoughts.

**Archie Bunker Theme**

**Jim Halpert**

**A piano is lowered from the ceiling tiles**

_"So sad she's really getting played, _

_wish I had my own brigade, _

_**or run him over with an escalade**,_

_that'd be the day,_

_and maybe I could show her then,_

_he has the mind of someone right about ten,_

_wish I could rent the **Terminator to off him **and then, _

_I'd show her what real love was,_

_and promise her that it'd be great, _

_gee I hope I'm not too late, _

_**that'd be the day**!"_


	7. Curtain Call

Jim and Pam needed to feel the cool night air. They decided the best place for this would be the roof, as it was their usual meeting place.

It was a cool summer night, and Jim had promised himself that there would be no awkwardness between him and his best friend.

Because that was what Pam was. A _best friend. _And nothing more.

"It looks like it might rain," Pam said, searching the clouds. Jim laughed when a few drops began to fall.

"Did you step on a spider, Beesley?" he asked, wanting to use her last name as much as possible until _it _happened.

"Not that I know of," her voice was low. "Listen, I really don't - I mean. I really want you to…"

She fiddled with her ring finger. "What?" he asked, hope in his eyes.

"Jim don't go. I can't do _this _without you," she said, pointing over the railing at Michael and Dwight Irish step dancing together in the parking lot. "I can't live without you, Jim. I love Roy, but I'm in love with you." Jim simply stared up into the clouds. They were almost soaked, and he wasn't ready to go inside. He turned around to face Pam, looking into her eyes. "You're the one I want."

He smiled, leaned down, and kissed her.

**You're The One I Want**

**Jim and Pam**

**Jim and Pam now wear tight black motorcycle jackets and Pam wears stilettos. Pam has an outrageous perm.**

**Jim**

_I got chills, they're multiplyin', and I'm losin' control  
Cause the power you're supplyin', it's electrifyin' _

**Pam**

_You better shape up, cause I need a man,  
and my heart is set on you  
You better shape up, you better understand,  
to my heart I must be true  
Nothing left, nothing left for me to do _

**Pam and Jim shimmy. The entire office joins them on the roof, where Christmas lights and fog have appeared.**

**P: **_You're the one that I want  
_**J: **_you are the one I want, _

**Office:**_ ooh ooh ooh, honey  
_**P:**_ The one that I want _

**J:**_ you are the one I want,  
_**Office:**_ ooh ooh ooh, honey  
_**P:**_ The one that I want _

**J:**_ you are the one I want,  
_**Office:**_ ooh ooh ooh, honey  
_**P:**_ The one I need _

**Office:**_ the one I need,  
_**P:**_ oh yes indeed _

**Office:**_ yes indeed_

**The Office begins a choreographed dance routine. Roy, who doesn't know what's going on dances too.**

"Angela baby, I love you!" Dwight calls from one side of the roof.

"I love you too!" Angela calls. They run to each other.

Michael dances his way closer and closer to Ryan. "I've got to tell you something right here and now."

Ryan stops dancing and turns to him. "What?"

"You're so damn hot." Michael leans in for a kiss.

Ryan puts a hand up. "Man, you are so plastered."

Dwight pipes up. "Actually, he only had one drink."

**Jim and Pam board an old convertible **

_I better shape up,  
cause you need a man  
_**P:**_ I need a man,  
Who can keep me satisfied  
_**J:**_ I better shape up, if I'm gonna prove  
_**P:**_ You better prove, that my fate is justified  
_**J:**_ Are you sure?  
_**P:**_ Yes I'm sure down deep inside_

**You're the one that I want!**

The rain finally stops. The car flies away into the moon.

**Fin.**


End file.
